Tuesday, April 24, 2007
haizzzzzzz... sorrryyyyyy again so long never write again. Too long liaoz... Now after my exams like a month liaoz... There is so much things happening to me since that time. When i took my exam results, i really cant believe my eyes that i have pass all with B+s, Bs and C. Really that make my GPA up by 0.1... Quate happy cos my GPA v.low like 2.3 now is 2.4 ha ha.... Like onli abit up also so happy... ha ha
I am quite happy with my results. But then alot of things happen after that. I went for my FYPJ on 5 of march, then it's like on the 1st or 2nd week the friday. My sis sms me tat ,y grandma is gg to the hospital cos she is not feeling well. Then she went there for observation as she have lung infection. As usual, every year she will have this. But this yr, it was different. She went there and after a few days, the doctor say her condition worsen wants her to be in the other ward to be specially taken care. But one night, she suffered stroke and also internal bleeding in the brain.
When i went to the hospital to see her in the morning, she was like asleep in the bed. When my mum try calling her she didn't reply. I was like going to cry. she never reply and then i was so afraid and scared that we may lose her. Her condition was stable after that.
She was transfered into the normal ward again. Her condition never changed. Everyday we go down and visit her. But sometimes, when i am tired, i did not go down. 20 days after she was admitted she pass away, at that time, my family was not beside her. She left peacefully. When we saw the body, i thought that she was still alive because i am not really sure about this type of thing. On that day she left us i have a v.bad feeling on that day. I think i have a feeling that something is going to happen on this day.
Upon waiting for all the things to be done, my family weep and my sis was like crying non-stop.
She loved my grandma, she doesn't bear to leave her. And my grandma loves her alot.
I tried not to cry but i weep for a while and think it through. If her condition is to be like that forever she would suffer and she doesn't want us to suffer too...
Then after we claim the body on Good Friday... We started the chinese traditional funeral, wear white and black only all that stuff @ my aunt's downstairs. Everytime i see her body... I realli feel like crying but if i keep thinking and crying over her death, she cannot leave peacefully. So we try not to cry in front of her.
I was thinking to think like, she have left us, it's fate. We cant do anything but to resign to it. We cant control nature as it takes it's course of the life cycle. On the last day of the funeral, i had my interim presetation. I have to go to attend to her creamation. I presented my presentation in school and then took a cab down to my aunt's house. The presentation was so scary. We are the 1st grp of the day beacuse of my grandma's funeral... My grp members was drag down together to the 1st grp... Sorry to the grp members.. I have no choice...
Then when i went back and get changed all that. My went to pay my last respects to my grandma. she was starting to blacken, her face and her hands. When i went beside her with my mum. My mum say some v.sad things to me like,"pansy will v.kuai de, will study hard de"
After i heard all that i cant control back my tears and i cried.
After the cremation, i think it's time to let it go, dun think too much about it... Now, i live as freely as last time like no change in my life. I know i have to face life and death when my parents are old. We have to face our own life and death also.
After all this things that have happen to me, i am still me, there's not drastic changes in me or what. I just went out last sat with jess, benny, leslie, alvin and neo. We went to the iras building to eat the sushi there. It's v.cheap de.. like 1 plate of sushi is 99 cents ... And the food there also not bad. We ordered loads of things to eat .. h aha... anything... and we ordered 4 bowl of ice cream to eat ... so yummy .......... hmmmmmmmmm ... wanna eat again.. Actucally, i ate the 3rd time there liaoz ... haiz .... not sianz de.. with different ppl so fun lor...
After the lunch we went to novena square to walk walk... nothing to do ma ...so go there and walk lor... like nothing liaoz.. nothing to walk de... the new mall, velocity. It's okie la for new comers but me i haven been going there lately cos of my ah ma in TTSH ma ... so sianz liaoz i think the place abit la... Then after that still dun wanna go home, we then go bishan and walk walk, almost each floor also walk walk around here and there like walking aimlessly.. Then went home like 6 plus 7. eat then stayed alone @ home .... Cos my sis and my mum go for their singing session @ the RC there.... Me alone @ home watch mine perfect gal revolution AGAIN from where i stop last sat.... then eating my chocoloate and also my bubble tea... haiz .......... my life so sianz...
Then on sun, just stayed @ home and do nothing... haizzz... Sleep til like 12 plu sthen wake up.. damm tired. maybe last night watch anime in the dark again... almost everynight also do that but recently didn't ... too tired.... Then i wake up, sit here and there like nothing like tat
then eat my mum home-made salad and also fried rice for the whole day. Then we never eat anything liaoz... Sianz ... like eat nugget like tat onli ..... So tired.. Wish i can sleep MOREEEE ... Like real...
Then monday come back school started on my project and stuff liaoz... Over the weekends i tot of things that may help in the debugging of the project and all that stuff la ... Thinking about the port stuff, then suddenly pop up this thing.. Can i use this all that stuff ... In the end is i dun have the rights to see the thing i have uploaded .. ha ha ... sianz ...
Now already tue and still debugging the project i did like long ago.... sianz ...... today like nothing... Met pz @ FJ and then talk talk about this sat one lor ... wanna watch waad movie and all that ... And another big news, our school FJ is gg to close and all the students will be rushing to like all the other places to eat. We are like gg to fight place with them like tat esp all the yr 1 and y2 and yr 3 all come in ... i see liaoz more sianz lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... GRRRRRRRRRRR ... Why FJ must close... haiz
立夏～Ritsuka~
Romanced @1:53 PM
